You work hard, always trying to prove your worth and make others happy. Your needs must be met consistently in order for you to feel safe and develop secure attachments. Alcoholic families are in “survival mode.” Usually, everyone is tiptoeing around the alcoholic, trying to keep the peace and avoid a blow-up. If youre an adult child of an alcoholic, you feel different and disconnected. It can be a relief torealize that some of yourstruggles are common to ACOAs. A trained mental health professional can offer more support with identifying unhelpful habits and coping mechanisms and exploring alternatives that better serve you.
If you grew up in an alcoholic or addicted family, chances are fun addiction group activities it had a profound impact on you. The feelings, personality traits, and relationship patterns that you developed to cope with an alcoholic parent, come with you to work, romantic relationships, parenting, and friendships. They show up as anxiety, depression, substance abuse, stress, anger, and relationship problems. Children who are raised by a parent with an alcohol addiction are more likely than other children to experience emotional neglect, physical neglect and emotional and behavioral problems.
I’m Seeking Help
This group of serious health conditions can occur when a fetus is exposed to alcohol. In 2019, around 14.5 million people ages 12 and older in the United States were living with this condition, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). As such, a wide range of individual and family therapy options are available through American Addiction Centers (AAC). Explore our treatment centers online or contact one of our admissions navigators. We can help you not only explore family therapy options but also identify tailored treatment programs to meet your unique needs or those of a loved one.
- Growing up with a parent with alcohol use disorder has real-life consequences for many adult children.
- Explore our treatment centers online or contact one of our admissions navigators.
- Children with FAS often have small heads and distinctive facial features, including a thin upper lip, small eyes and a short, upturned nose.
Adult Children of Alcoholics®& Dysfunctional Families
If you’re the child of a parent who has or had an alcohol use disorder or other substance use problems, seek out support, especially if you suspect it’s causing issues for you. Therapists and other mental health professionals with experience dealing with addiction can help. In a study of more than 25,000 adults, those who had a parent with AUD remembered their childhoods as “difficult” and said they struggled with “bad memories” of their parent’s alcohol misuse. Some people experience this as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), like other people who had different traumatic childhood experiences. Children whose parents use alcohol may not have had a good example to follow from their childhood, and may never have experienced traditional or harmonious family relationships. So adult children of parents with AUD may have to guess at what it means to be “normal.”
Common Characteristics of Children of Alcoholics
So you might want to peruse information on how to talk to an alcoholic before you broach the topic. All of that said, it’s important to explore the potential effects so you, your children, or others in your life can better understand and mitigate these effects. These dysfunctional family dynamics and trauma exact a heavy psychological toll on the child, who may respond to these stressors in different ways. Growing up in an alcoholic household can be a lonely, scary and confusing experience, and research shows it group therapy activities for adults in recovery impacts nearly every aspect of a child’s existence. Children of a parent with AUD may find themselves thinking they are different from other people and therefore not good enough. Consequently, they may avoid social situations, have difficulty making friends, and isolate themselves.
And they can show themselves the love, patience and respect they deserve. Children of parents who misuse alcohol are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and unexplained physical symptoms (internalizing behaviors). They are also more likely to display rule-breaking, aggressiveness, and impulsivity (externalizing behaviors) in childhood.
Although evidence is conflicting, some behavioral changes appear to occur in children, adolescents, and adults who had a parent with AUD. Although the roles of genetics and childhood experiences are intertwined, these children may be more susceptible to substance use and other issues. Some adult children of parents with AUD take themselves very seriously, finding it extremely difficult to give themselves a break. If they had a tumultuous upbringing, they may have little self-worth and low self-esteem and can develop deep feelings of inadequacy. Alcoholic parents (now referred to as parents with alcohol use disorder or AUD) affect their children in many ways, some so profound that the kids never outgrow them.
Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist/author specializing in addictions, codependency, and underlying issues such as depression, trauma, and anxiety. Out of necessity, you took famous high functioning alcoholics on some of your parents’responsibilities. These may have been practical (like paying the bills) or emotional (like comforting your siblings when Mom and Dad fought).
